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Recapturing the honeymoon period
Fall in love all over again this Valentine's Day.
In the beginning it was romantic dinners, suggestive whispers and butterfly inducing touches aplenty.
The all-night conversations about nothing and all-consuming passion had you wondering if you were going completely mad - it was beyond obsession.
Ah, the honeymoon period. It's the best part of a new relationship. But a few years down the track
how do you get the intensity of those early days of a relationship back?
A 2008 UK survey found that the average couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage. But marriage, or even a long-term relationship, doesn't have to default to no make-up, trackies and forever leaving the toilet seat up. With a little effort, you can maintain the romance forever.
John Aiken, Sydney relationship psychologist and author of Accidentally Single: The 15 mistakes that ruin romance and how to avoid them, says the key to getting your grove back is to change it up.
"Keep things novel - once a week have a shared experience of something new (a new restaurant, gym class, movie etc) and make a point of having sex once a week where one person initiates and tries something new and then reverse this the next time."
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Aiken says you should prioritise romantic gestures. "Prioritise making two romantic gestures each week for your partner. Be creative and tailor it to their needs rather than yours," he says. What about a simple loving good morning note, a batch of favourite cookies, or surprising your partner with tickets to a favourite band thought to had sold out?
Zoe Foster, author of the book Textbook Romance written with Hamish Blake, believes in the theory that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
"A little bit of absence can do wonders. Take a night course, go visit your sister on the farm, take the kids to your mum and dad's, organise a girl's weekend ... Do something that will give you a chance to miss each other, and subsequently want to ravish each other the nanosecond you return," she says.
But if your other half isn't excited the second you walk in the door, a little creativity and planning should have them in the mood in no time.
"The element of surprise combined with some romantic creativity is a good place to start," Foster says. "A little love letter in the wallet, a sexy text in the early evening just before you get home, a meal cooked with love - something that indicates thought and adoration (with a solid dose of ego-stroking) usually does the trick."
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In the beginning it was romantic dinners, suggestive whispers and butterfly inducing touches aplenty.
The all-night conversations about nothing and all-consuming passion had you wondering if you were going completely mad - it was beyond obsession.
Ah, the honeymoon period. It's the best part of a new relationship. But a few years down the track
how do you get the intensity of those early days of a relationship back?
A 2008 UK survey found that the average couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage. But marriage, or even a long-term relationship, doesn't have to default to no make-up, trackies and forever leaving the toilet seat up. With a little effort, you can maintain the romance forever.
John Aiken, Sydney relationship psychologist and author of Accidentally Single: The 15 mistakes that ruin romance and how to avoid them, says the key to getting your grove back is to change it up.
"Keep things novel - once a week have a shared experience of something new (a new restaurant, gym class, movie etc) and make a point of having sex once a week where one person initiates and tries something new and then reverse this the next time."
read on below advertisement
Aiken says you should prioritise romantic gestures. "Prioritise making two romantic gestures each week for your partner. Be creative and tailor it to their needs rather than yours," he says. What about a simple loving good morning note, a batch of favourite cookies, or surprising your partner with tickets to a favourite band thought to had sold out?
Zoe Foster, author of the book Textbook Romance written with Hamish Blake, believes in the theory that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
"A little bit of absence can do wonders. Take a night course, go visit your sister on the farm, take the kids to your mum and dad's, organise a girl's weekend ... Do something that will give you a chance to miss each other, and subsequently want to ravish each other the nanosecond you return," she says.
But if your other half isn't excited the second you walk in the door, a little creativity and planning should have them in the mood in no time.
"The element of surprise combined with some romantic creativity is a good place to start," Foster says. "A little love letter in the wallet, a sexy text in the early evening just before you get home, a meal cooked with love - something that indicates thought and adoration (with a solid dose of ego-stroking) usually does the trick."
next page »
